When I first saw the post on Facebook about sexual harassment and sexual assault, I froze.
Me too.
Both.
Throughout the day I saw more and more 'me too' posts. SO MANY people have experienced either sexual harassment or sexual assault or both. But we are not talking about it. It's not coming up in conversation. It's all pushed aside.
I have barely talked about my sexual assault in it's entirety. My husband knows the entire story. I think that's it. Until now. Over 15 years later it is so far in the past that I am more emotionally removed from it and can write about it.
When I told my husband about this, I described it as an incident in which I was almost raped. For some reason I didn't want to label it as sexual assault. If you are assaulted, you are a victim of assault.
I was 20 years old. It was spring time. My friend and I were enjoying the nice weather. We had been drinking and playing basketball at her boyfriends house. Her boyfriend invited some people over to hang out. There were probably about 10-12 people there. We played flip cup which was getting me more and more drunk. I was starting to get to the point of knowing I had way too much so I told her boyfriend I needed to lay down. He showed me to a room and I laid down.
The next thing I can remember is someone groping me and kissing me even though I was saying no repeatedly.
It was her boyfriend's 'friend'. A guy I didn't know and barely interacted with. I probably spoke 2 words to this guy. But here he was trying to take advantage of me. He locked the door. I don't know how long he assaulted me for but when it was happening it seemed like forever. This guy was strong and I was powerless.
Somehow my friend and her boyfriend got in the room. Since it was a small party I am assuming they figured out that the dude was not around and wondered where he could be. I remember them shouting and knocking on the door telling him to open it. To this day I don't know if the guy opened the door or if my friend and her boyfriend managed to get in on their own.
Regardless, they saved me from being raped.
Here I was, 20 years old, having a good time with my friends and enjoying myself at a small gathering. I thought that was a safe environment. There was so little interaction with this guy that there were no warning signs.
It just happened.
I have no doubt in my mind that he would have raped me if it wasn't for my friend and her boyfriend looking out for me.
Thank you if you're reading this.
After it happened, I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I have no idea why. I did nothing wrong. The guy was a sleaze bag piece of shit and he sexually assaulted me. I consider myself lucky because I wasn't raped (that statement is a sad reflection of our society). I had people looking out for me. Many others aren't lucky.
Look around. Most likely someone you know and love has been sexually assaulted.
so, yea, me too.
